Name: Tom Kapinos

Job on the Creek: Executive Producer

Birthplace: Bronx, N.Y.

Education: A mind-numbing blur of New York state schools from which it took me an agonizing six years to graduate.

Hobbies: Wishing ill upon others

Career Goal: Retaining my soul.

Favorite Movie: Toss-up between “Texas Rangers” and “The Skulls”

Least Favorite TV show: Everwood

Favorite Saying: “Daddy touched me in a bad place.”

Favorite DC episode or moment: The pilot. It was all downhill from there.

What you hope God says to you at the gates of Heaven: “Daddy touched me in a bad place, too.”